sigh... feeling quite sad and angry for no reason lately... haha, val, ur mood is influencing me... but not so bad la, cos i no express out... behaving perfectly normal and "khaichee" style...

i think some of u asked me why i need to mediate then i no say why... cos i keep having wierd feelings, having major mood swings and everything... but as i said, it is not visible to others, cos i have kept it all down as i know i am being unreasonable...

eh, not really unreasonable, actually i think i am right, like it is perfectly normal and rational for me to think like that, but i juz feel uncomfortable with the ways that things are now... obviously i care for some things that others dun really care, or think it is negligent, but it is not their fault nor is it my fault.. thou i really dun think they are right, but i dun think they are wrong too since they have their own reasons for certain actions... i need to cater to others' feelings and not only my own...

aiya, dun think i am making any sense... all in all, it is juz that whenever i feel negative, i will try to not let myself feel so, cos i think feeling negative is wrong, so i will not exp it, but keep thinking of it, evetually gets so tired then somehow i will bury it somewhere when new negative feelings surfaced, then the vicious cycle goes... then i will somethimes look at my archives of remorse and feel sad again... well, thou complaining it to someone makes me feel better, but it does not solve the root of the prob... also there is rarely few ppl that i am able and feel comfortable and able to meet to complain to...

but really thanks ym!! thanks for listening to my complaints everytime i get to see u, or even call u to just rant my complaints...

aiya, i really am not making sense... i juz feel sad la.. in conclusion...