finished watching tang xin feng bao a few days ago... it's a great show but the love triangle is so not value-adding to the show... so as usual, i fast forwarded those parts... haha... anyway u all can borrow the vcds from me, first come first serve... (note: the vcds cannot play on my dvd player but can play on everyone else's)...

exams results are going to be out on the 28th... i presume my final papers should be quite good but my coursework really sucks... so hopefully my gpa can maintain status quo... everyone out there, please pray for me!!!

feeling super bored at home but also dun feel like going out... letting my thoughts run wild and i find myself pondering possible negative events that may happen to me... below are 2 of the more extreme events:

1. doing badly for exams, to the extent of failing and i need to retake and everyone is super disappointed with me and i dun deserve to be watching tv/playing com or doing anything now cos i should spend all my time feeling guilty and regretting
2. died in the middle of the night while i sleep

then i find myself comforting myself... sigh... for event no. 1, i will keep trying to comfort myself but afterwhich that i will suddenly feel that i am self deceiving and the event will indeed occur then i will comfort myself again then the vicious cycle goes on... for event no. 2, i will then keep trying to ensure that i am breathing until i finally fall asleep...

KAN KAI... shouldn't worry cos worry dun do anyth good but waste time and makes me feels bad... okok... Gone are the worries.... sometimes i think i am quite good at comforting myself, haha... but i dun think i am good at comforting others cos i will counter my own argument several times and come up with new aruguments each time until i finally convinced myself...

i realised sometimes what is the best for me is already presented in front of me, but i will keep resisting it and before i finally accept it, i was merely hurting myself...

i suppose that occurs to most people, because we didn't think happiness can come easily, so we tend to choose the difficult route... happiness does not come after achievements only... it is available everywhere, you just need to believe and u can feel that it is all over the place...